Alice Meets Wile E. Coyote

Yesterday, as pre-arranged I headed off to Zefferellis on Robson for a birthday lunch with our CEO and the other August B-Day buddies I work with.

I was supposed to meet the group at 12:30 at the restaurant but arrived about 10 minutes early.

I climbed the steep flight of stairs leading to the second story and walked into the restaurant for the first time, quickly scanning the tables for my co-workers. They had not arrived yet and so I took a quick trip down the corridor behind the bar to the men’s washroom.

When I came out, I had made up my mind that if they weren't there yet I would go downstairs and meet everyone in the bright sunshine on the street and that we would all walk up together.

The Exit sign glowed above the doorway on my left and while fixing that in mind and turning towards it I scanned the restaurant tables once more. Unfortunately, I took the wrong turn.

I thought I was taking a shortcut behind a counter and I found myself stepping into empty space and hurtling Alice in Wonderland style down a rabbit hole. It was a stairwell leading down to the Cactus Club restaurant below, but it was unlit and because I was not paying close attention there was no way to see there was not a floor behind the counter.

I picture myself in freefall and a lot of things occurred simultaneously.

One was panic and a kind of horror that I had not seen this coming. The other was the sudden realization that I was falling into a stairwell as my vision adjusted to the shadows. There was also a distinct sensation that time had slowed down or stopped all together. Another was that there was a banister rail within my grasp but my body was quickly turning backwards and upside down and so I grabbed for it wildly, certain that I would miss.

I did not miss. Although I was suddenly head first into the stairwell, my feet pointing toward the light, my grip on the banister broke the momentum of my freefall.

Up at the top of the stairs I could hear the waiters’ gasps of “Oh no,” and “Oh my God”.

By the time their faces appeared, I was pulling myself out of the darkness and surfacing. I was feeling a mixed burn of embarrassment and foolishness as I came up, and immediately thought of that unfortunate cartoon coyote, Wile E. I must have had a similar look on my face.

Outside of a few bruises and scrapes I was fine and told them so. I was still intending to go downstairs but they quickly ushered me to my table and sat me down. I could almost hear them thinking "Sit him down before something else happens." It was not until I was sitting that I realized how badly my body was shaking.

When my co-workers arrived I was at no loss for words. Everyone expressed immediate concern and sympathy, even shock as a man my age falling down stairs could easily be a disaster.

I am grateful that I have kept up my morning routine of exercise as I am no worse for it this morning, other than a bit of stiffness in my right arm, the one that grabbed for safety.

Once again this appears to be another mysterious case of Angels to the rescue!