Yesterday I went to see my enchanting hematologist to receive the results of my tests.
I was bracing myself for possible bad news as the ultra sound probing especially had been more painful than usual and had seemed incredibly invasive this time.
She asked if there was anything that I needed to report, recent swellings, fevers, etc and I told her only that I had finally gone to see my doctor about the high blood pressure and she agreed that it was “good medicine” to try to bring the BP Level down.
When it came time for the physical however, and she took out her kit to test me, I knew it was still high, as I could “feel it” in my body. So when she laughed out loud and said, “I guess I make you nervous”, I was not surprised. It wasn’t the nervousness that increased my blood pressure, although I do get edgy in such close proximity to a beautiful woman.
However her expert probing fingers soon took the edge off my edginess and replaced that with a few painful exclamations from me as they homed in on the trouble spots.
This was not my fantasy of an intimate moment and I was relieved when the physical was over.
Back in her office we discussed the recent test details. Everything was about the same as last time and there was no evidence of a sudden surge of aggressive behaviour in the cancer, which is what they are monitoring me for.
To make a long story short, I guess the hobbit and the wizard are still on my side, the ring in safekeeping and the dragon still a-snooze.
P.S. And what was up with the Canucks offence last night? Maybe the march on ice of the US Marine Color Guard intimidated them. And what was up with that anyway?
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
The Good Ol' Hockey Game
Stompin’ Tom hit the bull’s eye with this one!
When I was growing up in Winnipeg, the fire department flooded the local park baseball diamond every winter and the kids would play hockey after supper. They eventually put up lights, so that we could play later and even maintained the ice through the winter.
One Christmas when I was about 8 or 9 years old, my dad enlisted the help of our next door neighbor who had a woodworking shop in his garage, and manufactured what looked to be regulation style hockey stocks for me and my brother. Never mind that they broke after a couple of games; I can still remember the thrill of holding that new stick in my hands.
I was not a good hockey player by any stretch, as I could never master the art of skating backwards, which some friends seemed born to. Also it was too easy to crush a skinny guy like me along the boards.
When we weren’t skating, we were playing those great hockey board games (a new one every second or third Christmas) with the little flat players in our favorite team colors that swiveled on their posts. This was before the Winnipeg Jets and so the players were usually the Leafs and the Canadiennes.
Hockey is to Canadians what apple is to pie, and though I am not a real hockey fan, I jump on the bandwagon with everyone else when the home team is in the game.
And I am looking forward to my evening as tonight is the Canucks/Ducks first playoff game, and I plan to order some pizza and enjoy. What a relief for fans that Linden scored in the 7th game with Dallas and brought it for Vancouver!
That night as I left work it was wall-to-wall traffic, non-stop horn blasting and the savage wail of victory-intoxicated fans counting coup.
As I passed the little square at Bute and Haro a young Asian traveler stopped me. He looked thoroughly confused and even worried. In halting English he asked, “What is this happening?” The cheers and shouts were also resounding from apartment balconies in every direction.
I replied evenly, “The Vancouver Canucks have beaten the Dallas Stars and are still in the playoffs.”
He looked at me blankly, as though briefly attempting a translation and walked away without a hint that he understood what I had just said!
On reflection, I think “hockey game,” might have been a better answer!
When I was growing up in Winnipeg, the fire department flooded the local park baseball diamond every winter and the kids would play hockey after supper. They eventually put up lights, so that we could play later and even maintained the ice through the winter.
One Christmas when I was about 8 or 9 years old, my dad enlisted the help of our next door neighbor who had a woodworking shop in his garage, and manufactured what looked to be regulation style hockey stocks for me and my brother. Never mind that they broke after a couple of games; I can still remember the thrill of holding that new stick in my hands.
I was not a good hockey player by any stretch, as I could never master the art of skating backwards, which some friends seemed born to. Also it was too easy to crush a skinny guy like me along the boards.
When we weren’t skating, we were playing those great hockey board games (a new one every second or third Christmas) with the little flat players in our favorite team colors that swiveled on their posts. This was before the Winnipeg Jets and so the players were usually the Leafs and the Canadiennes.
Hockey is to Canadians what apple is to pie, and though I am not a real hockey fan, I jump on the bandwagon with everyone else when the home team is in the game.
And I am looking forward to my evening as tonight is the Canucks/Ducks first playoff game, and I plan to order some pizza and enjoy. What a relief for fans that Linden scored in the 7th game with Dallas and brought it for Vancouver!
That night as I left work it was wall-to-wall traffic, non-stop horn blasting and the savage wail of victory-intoxicated fans counting coup.
As I passed the little square at Bute and Haro a young Asian traveler stopped me. He looked thoroughly confused and even worried. In halting English he asked, “What is this happening?” The cheers and shouts were also resounding from apartment balconies in every direction.
I replied evenly, “The Vancouver Canucks have beaten the Dallas Stars and are still in the playoffs.”
He looked at me blankly, as though briefly attempting a translation and walked away without a hint that he understood what I had just said!
On reflection, I think “hockey game,” might have been a better answer!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Sufi Healing Prayers
Ya Shafi - Ya Kafi, Ya Shafi - Ya Kafi, Ya Shafi - Ya Kafi...
O Thou who art the Healer of our bodies, hearts and souls,
by Thy mercy,
may she / he / they be healed
by Thy all-sufficient Power of Healing.
Ya Shafi - Ya Kafi, Ya Shafi - Ya Kafi, Ya Shafi - Ya Kafi ...
Three Prayers for the Sufi Healing Ceremony:
Oh Thou, whose nature is mercy and compassion
and who’s Being is all peace.
Father, Creator and Sustainer of our lives,
send on the whole humanity Thy peace
and unite us all in Thy Divine Harmony.
Amen.
Oh Thou, the Spirit of our souls,
the Master of our minds
and the Controller of our bodies,
we humbly offer ourself to be used as the channels
of Thy Love, Light and Life
that we may be more able to serve Thee and Humanity.
Amen.
Oh Thou, the Light of all souls,
the Life of all beings,
the Healer of hearts.
All-Sufficient and All-Powerful God,
the Forgiver of our shortcomings,
free us from all pain and suffering
and make us Thy instruments,
that we may in our turn free others from pain and suffering
and that we may impart to them:
Thy Light, Thy Life, Thy Joy and Thy Peace.
Amen.
...Ya Shafi Ya Kafi healing prayers
courtesy of my dear friend Paul Reps in 1976
and again given by my dear friend April in 2007.
O Thou who art the Healer of our bodies, hearts and souls,
by Thy mercy,
may she / he / they be healed
by Thy all-sufficient Power of Healing.
Ya Shafi - Ya Kafi, Ya Shafi - Ya Kafi, Ya Shafi - Ya Kafi ...
Three Prayers for the Sufi Healing Ceremony:
Oh Thou, whose nature is mercy and compassion
and who’s Being is all peace.
Father, Creator and Sustainer of our lives,
send on the whole humanity Thy peace
and unite us all in Thy Divine Harmony.
Amen.
Oh Thou, the Spirit of our souls,
the Master of our minds
and the Controller of our bodies,
we humbly offer ourself to be used as the channels
of Thy Love, Light and Life
that we may be more able to serve Thee and Humanity.
Amen.
Oh Thou, the Light of all souls,
the Life of all beings,
the Healer of hearts.
All-Sufficient and All-Powerful God,
the Forgiver of our shortcomings,
free us from all pain and suffering
and make us Thy instruments,
that we may in our turn free others from pain and suffering
and that we may impart to them:
Thy Light, Thy Life, Thy Joy and Thy Peace.
Amen.
...Ya Shafi Ya Kafi healing prayers
courtesy of my dear friend Paul Reps in 1976
and again given by my dear friend April in 2007.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The Joy of Being Able To Do
It is a leisurely Tuesday morning and I journal this as I enjoy my home-brewed coffee, having fought off the urge to walk up to the corner for one!
I took my time this morning and almost did not do my morning exercises as I have been going through a spell of fatigue for the last couple of weeks. “I’ll skip it today” I thought, but I guess my body knows more than I do. I found myself going through the exercises anyway and focusing on not hurrying through them.
I imagined myself sick, crippled or incapacitated and not able to move my body, and so allowed myself to luxuriate in the joy of being able to do a slow, unrushed kind of movement and felt the thrill and chill as my arms, neck and shoulders were stretched by the movements.
The important thing for me in doing anything these days is not to become a robot, and trapped in the groove so that I am just going through the motions.
Also, I kept the same focus when I said my morning prayers, keeping friends and family faces and names in mind as I went through the ritual, feeling the pressure of the spirit behind the words I spoke.
I remember as a young man in California, talking to an older friend of mine who was also a musician but one with many more years experience than me. We were in his studio and talking about life, music and spirituality and I said, “Sometimes I feel so scattered and unfocused when I am doing things, but I imagine myself one day arriving at a place where my thought and my action are one.”
As I said this, I stepped forward playfully as if to demonstrate the point.
My friend who had also been a dancer years ago in New York beamed a bright smile at me and said, “That’s it! You did it! I saw you step into it for a moment…and then you stepped back out.”
I took my time this morning and almost did not do my morning exercises as I have been going through a spell of fatigue for the last couple of weeks. “I’ll skip it today” I thought, but I guess my body knows more than I do. I found myself going through the exercises anyway and focusing on not hurrying through them.
I imagined myself sick, crippled or incapacitated and not able to move my body, and so allowed myself to luxuriate in the joy of being able to do a slow, unrushed kind of movement and felt the thrill and chill as my arms, neck and shoulders were stretched by the movements.
The important thing for me in doing anything these days is not to become a robot, and trapped in the groove so that I am just going through the motions.
Also, I kept the same focus when I said my morning prayers, keeping friends and family faces and names in mind as I went through the ritual, feeling the pressure of the spirit behind the words I spoke.
I remember as a young man in California, talking to an older friend of mine who was also a musician but one with many more years experience than me. We were in his studio and talking about life, music and spirituality and I said, “Sometimes I feel so scattered and unfocused when I am doing things, but I imagine myself one day arriving at a place where my thought and my action are one.”
As I said this, I stepped forward playfully as if to demonstrate the point.
My friend who had also been a dancer years ago in New York beamed a bright smile at me and said, “That’s it! You did it! I saw you step into it for a moment…and then you stepped back out.”
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Chaya's 26th Birthday!!!
It is Sunday morning and after a long nights’ closing shift I am feeling pretty good that Chaya’s 26th birthday lunch at Mi was such a success! The only absentee was Nika, but she called as we were leaving, so at least we knew she is well.
The plates were scrumptious and served with professional flair. I had a Cajun Salmon sandwich on a sesame bun that fairly melted in my mouth along with an organic baby greens salad with lemon dressing fortifying me for my coming days’ work. I rarely eat much before work, but devoured this meal with so much gusto that my children looked on in astonishment.
The waiter, who was born and lived in Vancouver until he was 5, served us with grace and a strong New Zealand accent. He caught the spelling of Chaya’s name from the card I had addressed to her, and at the end of our dinner, bought over a delicious miniature cheesecake with candle on top, which had been place in the center of a strawberry sauce caption, spelling out Happy B-Day Chaya!
We all looked at each other in confusion wondering who of us initiated this, until finally he admitted that it was his gift! Needless to say, he got a big tip!
After all, we all have something larger than life to celebrate this birthday with Chaya's recovery and it is a giant leap of energy ahead after the feelings surrounding us all last year at this time.
Outside in the street we exchanged hugs and kisses. Kadir was off to spend the rest of the weekend with his mom and looked pretty happy despite being told he could not bring his computer loaded with the game World Warcraft, which he seems attached to at the navel. His mom looked pretty happy too; as she has finally moved into into a place she likes, which has a big balcony with a great view of the snow-capped Lions, the docks and the Burrard Inlet.
Ky and Chaya went off to do some errands, and she to give Ky another chance to improve his driving skills in big city traffic.
And dad went off to work, with a smile on his face and a song in his heart!
The plates were scrumptious and served with professional flair. I had a Cajun Salmon sandwich on a sesame bun that fairly melted in my mouth along with an organic baby greens salad with lemon dressing fortifying me for my coming days’ work. I rarely eat much before work, but devoured this meal with so much gusto that my children looked on in astonishment.
The waiter, who was born and lived in Vancouver until he was 5, served us with grace and a strong New Zealand accent. He caught the spelling of Chaya’s name from the card I had addressed to her, and at the end of our dinner, bought over a delicious miniature cheesecake with candle on top, which had been place in the center of a strawberry sauce caption, spelling out Happy B-Day Chaya!
We all looked at each other in confusion wondering who of us initiated this, until finally he admitted that it was his gift! Needless to say, he got a big tip!
After all, we all have something larger than life to celebrate this birthday with Chaya's recovery and it is a giant leap of energy ahead after the feelings surrounding us all last year at this time.
Outside in the street we exchanged hugs and kisses. Kadir was off to spend the rest of the weekend with his mom and looked pretty happy despite being told he could not bring his computer loaded with the game World Warcraft, which he seems attached to at the navel. His mom looked pretty happy too; as she has finally moved into into a place she likes, which has a big balcony with a great view of the snow-capped Lions, the docks and the Burrard Inlet.
Ky and Chaya went off to do some errands, and she to give Ky another chance to improve his driving skills in big city traffic.
And dad went off to work, with a smile on his face and a song in his heart!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Spring Blossoms & Blood Pressure
It is the end of my workweek, and Tuesday afternoon as I complete my chores, which I always save for the first of my two days off.
Two nights ago it rained, but at 9:46 a.m. the following morning when I drew my curtains and looked outside, my window ledges were drying off and the sky seemed a little brighter, albeit overcast, than it might if it was going to be a day of rain.
This morning however I woke to a brilliant sunshine and completed my outdoor errands in shirtsleeves, the first morning I have been able to leave without a jacket this season.
The blossoms are now emerging on the trees and bushes outside my window, and their presence makes me more eager to walk outside and greet the day. It was a joy to stroll leisurely to the supermarket and home to remove the final load of laundry from the dryer.
The other day at work I realized I forgot to take my blood pressure medication and so this morning was sure to place my pills out in full view of the orange juice so that I would not forget again. I don’t know whether my blood pressure has dropped and I would rather wait and let my doctor determine whether the daily increments of hydrochlorothiazide have made any difference in the level.
It is comforting just knowing that it is being monitored and that I am not ignoring a possibly serious situation. It took me long enough to gear up to getting checked though. I was hoping my body would normalize on its own, given my knowledge that my BP was too high, but it has been about 7 months and the only time it came down was when I was sick with a bad flu and couldn’t eat for a week.
When my doctor checked me last week, his eyebrows shot up and he said, "It's high! We're going to have to treat this." I knew this mean't yet another blood test and this time my favorite gal who usually leaves not a mark on me was off duty, and I was treated by a curt, matronly woman who left huge bruises on my arm and then tried to hide them with tape, until I refused to let her.
That was a few days ago and since then I have been taking medication pending another appointment with my family doctor next week to review the results of the blood test. The swelling and bruising has subsided and I am feeling upbeat.
Maybe the scent of flowers and the rays of the sun will form an alchemical mix with the medication to help lower my blood pressure more quickly.
Whatever the result, this new spring is already a healing balm!
Two nights ago it rained, but at 9:46 a.m. the following morning when I drew my curtains and looked outside, my window ledges were drying off and the sky seemed a little brighter, albeit overcast, than it might if it was going to be a day of rain.
This morning however I woke to a brilliant sunshine and completed my outdoor errands in shirtsleeves, the first morning I have been able to leave without a jacket this season.
The blossoms are now emerging on the trees and bushes outside my window, and their presence makes me more eager to walk outside and greet the day. It was a joy to stroll leisurely to the supermarket and home to remove the final load of laundry from the dryer.
The other day at work I realized I forgot to take my blood pressure medication and so this morning was sure to place my pills out in full view of the orange juice so that I would not forget again. I don’t know whether my blood pressure has dropped and I would rather wait and let my doctor determine whether the daily increments of hydrochlorothiazide have made any difference in the level.
It is comforting just knowing that it is being monitored and that I am not ignoring a possibly serious situation. It took me long enough to gear up to getting checked though. I was hoping my body would normalize on its own, given my knowledge that my BP was too high, but it has been about 7 months and the only time it came down was when I was sick with a bad flu and couldn’t eat for a week.
When my doctor checked me last week, his eyebrows shot up and he said, "It's high! We're going to have to treat this." I knew this mean't yet another blood test and this time my favorite gal who usually leaves not a mark on me was off duty, and I was treated by a curt, matronly woman who left huge bruises on my arm and then tried to hide them with tape, until I refused to let her.
That was a few days ago and since then I have been taking medication pending another appointment with my family doctor next week to review the results of the blood test. The swelling and bruising has subsided and I am feeling upbeat.
Maybe the scent of flowers and the rays of the sun will form an alchemical mix with the medication to help lower my blood pressure more quickly.
Whatever the result, this new spring is already a healing balm!
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